May 18, 2009 by Debbie.

It never fails to amaze me how God works; how kind he is in his workings. He sent a special friend to me this weekend to clarify so many things, some things I didn’t even know were inside me. But before I get into the struggle, here are some comments I’ve heard or read recently that have touched my heart/mind:

NorthPlace Assemblies of God pastor - “Ministry is using your resources to supply someone else’s need.” What a simple, cut to the chase, definition! He also said church people need to get from “serve us” to “service”. So if we’re searching for our ministry or calling, maybe we can first check out what resources we have and then find a need that needs them……… might be a good fit.

Steve Green on the Gaither’s Vocal Band Reunion vol. 1, “Our story is one of God’s kindness. There are no perfect lives; that’s why we need Jesus.” God’s kindness - wow, what a concept. Kindness is a rare commonitity in today’s world.

Sunday morning I was watching/listening to the Gaither’s Vocal Band Reunion Vol.1 dvd that had just come in. I waited til cbd.com had it on sale for $16 and ordered both volumes. I wish I could remember who made the comment but I don’t and I’m paraphasing here but the gist of it was “Bill Gaither taught me to apply the ’so what’ question on all my songs. If it doesn’t make a difference it’s not important.”

That recaps what my special friend was saying to me this weekend. In fact, that pretty much sums up the way she lives her life.

I told her how stupid it was, this struggle inside of me. I can’t seem to accept living here on 55 acres and do less than everything - especially the huge garden. Frankly, right then I was tired of the gardening battle. According to my weather calender it has rained 14 out of the last 16 prime time gardening days. And that’s not just ‘rain’, it’s flooding rains where the ground cannot take another ounce in. The pill bugs have eated 6 rows of green beans as they’ve sprouted. A few of the pea pods have mildewed on the vine. Laundry is damp when I bring it in. It all just seemed like toooooooooooo much. I had started to look at city homes (eek!!!). I told my friend I could live in town and not have a huge garden but I’m having trouble living out here on acreage and not having a huge garden. She hit the nail on the head - it would seem wasteful to me. I hate waste.

Then later as she commented that her husband is very project oriented right now and she wants to just recoup from years of fitting college around a full time + job, I realized that very struggle is the one inside of me. I’m “shoulding” all over myself with projects I feel obligated to do. I should have a garden. I should clean house. I should make/bake/fix everything from scratch - I mean scratch as in making the cheese, noodles and sauce to make lasagna and grow the spinach to put in it, not just not buying a prepared pan of lasagna from the store (I didn’t even know they made such things til someone told me). I didn’t realize I’d slid back into that shoulding again. She said something profound that made sense - “Sometimes just sitting down with someone, watching a sunset, is just as important as a project, even if ‘nothing’ is being done or produced.” If you grasped that thought, you don’t have to read “Never Miss a Sunset” but I remember that book from many readings over the years. I had just forgotten the lesson.

An example of God’s kindness in reminding/teaching me is that this friend brought me a book, not even knowing my struggle. She just wanted to share this book with me - Three Cups of Tea. Here’s what struck home with me in the second chapter, “Though Mortenson had already been there for months, he drank in the drama of these peaks like he’d never seen them before. “In a way, I never had,” he explains, “All summer, I’d looked at these mountains as GOALS, totally focused on the biggest one, K2. I’d thought about their elevation and the technical challenges they presented to me as a climber. But that morning,” he says, “for the first time, I simply saw them. It was overwhelming.” ” Take a minute to hear this Gaither song from the Reunion dvd - A New Point of View.

I can see Beulah Land Homestead again as a life and not a race for completing projects.

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May 15, 2009 by Debbie.

The proverb that all good  things come to those who wait (Biblical??? Maybe not, but still a good one!) has come true and I have proof - here it is - (drum roll here, please)

My husband did this for me. No it’s no huge surprise he fixed breakfast for us; no extremely huge surprise he picked flowers for me. The surprise is he served it all OUTSIDE! I’ve wanted to eat outside for many years but John just has never ‘got it’ when it came to picnicking. That he did this for me and actually enjoyed it himself is the huge surprise! Enjoyed it so much we have eaten outside TWICE now.

Another surprise/reward was Teacher appreciation week. Our local elementary school teachers and staff ARE the best. I am the proof of that. That someone like me who had not taken any teaching courses in college as my focus was accounting can come in and sub-teach is definite proof. It’s more work for the teachers to plan a day off than for them to come in themselves. They have a detailed schedule of the day prepared and a stack of work with the lesson plans waiting. The other teachers in the grade I’m subbing in always check if I need anything or have any questions. They make it not only easy to sub, but pleasant as well. So I could understand why the parents got together and fixed a complete meal for all the teachers at the school. My reward was I was included.

This week, after a day of subbing I thought I’d take a few minutes off before starting supper and was just getting ready to sit on the porch swing when I glanced over and just a few feet away was a 5 1/2 foot rat snake. He must have had a full stomach cause he had only traveled a foot or two by the time I got back to him with the hoe and shovel. We have had so much rain that the ground was too soft to cut his head off with the (very dull) shovel but I was able to stun him enough to pick him up (with the shovel) and put him on a board to smash his head. Course I then had to drag him over to the carport, stretch him out and measure him - how else would I know he was 5 1/2 foot long? And of course, I had to save my trophy for John to see. And did you know if you poke a dead snake it will recoil out of reflexes? Kind of like a chicken with it’s head cut off flopping around.

Tonight my FaithFull Friend Gina came over - what a wonderful, wonderful treat! We were doing a Bible study. You know the scripture that says confess your faults to each other that you may be healed? Well, I poured out all my faults and woes to her and I sure felt healed by the time she left. Time flies when Gina’s here. It doesn’t matter how long she’s here I never get done talking and listening; sharing life with Gina is a rare treat but time came for her to go home. As we walked out by the bushy rosemary we teased each other about running into another snake.

I went out to the barn to check on the goats. Despite teasing about possibly finding another snake I really did not expect to see the one curled up around the top of the goats’ water bucket. It really was not what I wanted to find or deal with right then or ever. But there he was and Betsy was curious enough to stick her nose close to his. That did it - snakes should know better than bother my goats and expect to live. So I grabbed another dull shovel and bashed him against the wall. Unfortunately the shovel was so dull it wouldn’t cut through his scales. So I pressed the shovel and held him in place, hoping he’d twist his head up close enough to the shovel edge I could catch it under an edge of the shovel blade. Took awhile but thanks to the bashing that slowed him down I was able to pick him up and move him to a couple of cement blocks and smash his head one last time. I love thinking of the scripture about smashing the serpent’s head while doing this.  I put this one in a bucket and covered it with a lid, put a block on the lid (just in case, ya know) so I could show John my latest trophy. If I’d had Gina’s cell phone number I think I would have called to tell her it’s now no teasing matter and I’m tired of snakes. That was snake #5 in the past two weeks. I’m going to start research St. Patrick to see how he expelled all the snakes from Ireland.

During our visit Gina had asked what we were going to do tomorrow if it rained again ………… now I know, rain or shine, we are going to sharpen all the hoes and shovels.

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May 7, 2009 by Debbie.

As the song says, “This is dedicated to the one  I love.” That he would willingly spend 35+ years of marriage plus almost 2 years prior with me still amazes me and I still wonder WHY? but I’m so glad, glad, glad he does.

As my gift to John, we spent my whole month’s paycheck on lunch out today, down in Addison (Dallas) at Texas de Brazil. OK, before anyone panics, let me explain that paycheck only had 2 half days on it!!! Still we blew the whole wad plus a little more (had to leave a good tip) which is very, very unusual for us. This was the type of restaurant that their throw away  ‘paper’ towels were more luxurious than our towels we keep. I know cause while I was in the restroom, I snuck 3 in my purse - how else would I remember the name of the place? I couldn’t help but think as I dried my hands, “Wow! These will work great drying the goats’ udders for milking.” I didn’t share that thought with anyone.

Getting ready to go I went through my closet 3 times. No question of which shoes as I have one good pair of sandals so I had to find something that went with brown sandal and a brown purse. I finally found a skirt but put on 3 tops before I settled on a tee that was only 5 years old and a light jacket that was only 15 years old. As I stood before the mirror, the same old feelings just about everyone feels when they step back to their old haunts came to me screaming, “Boy, are you out of style!” I used to work in the Dallas area and thought nothing of driving around Dallas to clients’ offices. Now I shut my eyes while John drives through McKinney, far north of Dallas and far less congested. It was only a moment with those feelings and I could have started to feel blue but another feeling screamed louder, “Yep, you’re way out of style, but you’re also way out of DEBT!” Living debt-free brings more freedom than anyone knows unless they’ve experienced it personally. Style had no hold on me - I was out to have a good time with my Lover.

I would have been a fool to let ‘fashion’ cast any shadow on a wonderful time out.  For I am so blessed to have a husband who lets me be me and he actually LIKES me that way. He was not surprised when I pulled those towels out of my purse later nor did I embarrass him by carrying two plates at a time from the salad bar then going back twice cause I forgot something. He didn’t blanch once when I asked the heavily accented waiter to slow down and explain something again.

John picked this restaurant and he did well. They had all the beef, lamb, pork and chicken you could eat. They said they had 50 different items on the salad bar but frankly the salad bar did nothing for me. To be fair, how do they top my home grown organic salad makings and home grown goat cheese? The meats more than made up for a so-so salad bar. And to end the meal the waiter brought John his choice of dessert (banana foster) with a lit candle.

I had pushed a dessert on John as this was probably the last time I’d go down into Dallas to eat unless drug in a hearse. I wanted him to have the full Texas de Brazil experience but when we got home we finished icing his real birthday cake - Italian Cream Cake. If you’ve never made one, google a recipe and try it. Be ready to freeze half of it because it’s just too rich to eat even over a week’s time. Ours had 5 farm fresh eggs, 3/4 pound of butter (1/4 pound in the icing), coconut, walnuts and 8 oz of cream cheese (icing). I’d weigh it but our kitchen scales only go to 5#.

Texas de Brazil for lunch and Italian Cream cake for supper - Happy Birthday, John! but I got the best present - you!

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May 2, 2009 by Debbie.

Saturday morning ….. sleeping late, til almost 5:15 am, knowing I don’t have to pack our lunches and rush through quiet time to rush out and milk so I can rush through my shower to head out for sub-teaching. Still had to milk, but not rushing is wonderful. Instead I woke John at 6:00 and he greeted the day with, “First day of vacation and waking up at 6:00.” You gotta realize, John doesn’t grumble - honest. I wish he would cause I love to grumble and we could duet grumble but out of almost 36 years of marriage I’ve heard him grumble maybe two times and I’ve given him plenty of opportunity.

I weedwacked the wild sunflowers in the garden and came back green coated. Everything is still wet from the recent rains but more is due in so it was a now or never situation. As I finished up a quick shower John came eagerly into the house, saying those 3 word every homesteading woman longs to hear………………………………. “snake in chickcoop”. OK, I lied about longing to hear those specific words.

We quickly grabbed our weapons - I have a favorite snake killing hoe we keep by the back door as snakes like to visit the overhang in the carport where we sit during rainstorms. John went to the workshop to grab the shovel and a flat hoe; I grabbed two sharp knives from the kitchen. Oh, Mr. Snake, we’re coming after you!

John was born and raised in the city. I was hatched and raised in the country and I played with snakes when I was as young as 5 yo and had no sense. Now I’m 53 and have no sense except anger to know that snake is in OUR hen house eating OUR eggs WE paid chicken feed for. Snakes are normal on the homestead - they’re doing what is normal for them, eating our eggs. They are more than welcome here as long as their diet sticks with mice, rats, bugs and slugs. When they switch to our eggs we kill them. I can attest to the fact God put a fear between snakes and humans and I felt it but anger is a great motivator to kill. To kill fear particularly. John and I have made a choice to not live in fear, act in fear, think in fear or decide anything by fear, except for the fear (respect) of God and this snake was bringing fear to me and our homestead. Well, time to kill that fear was/is NOW and so the snake had to go.

The nest boxes were in a narrow rectangle area in the coop so it was hard to wield the hoes but we held the snake down with one hoe and tried to crush it’s head with the other hoe. Nope, didn’t work as he was still in the nest, curled up cozily, digesting the egg he’d stolen. So out comes the fillet knife and after several stabs through his head he’s almost dead but his body is still reacting with movement. Bad move as he slides out of the nest box and John chops his head off with the shovel.

I felt such victory, we killed the thief that came after our food.

OK, I lied again. Snakes are not just unwelcome in the chicken coop, but also in the swimming pool.  See why we keep a hoe by the back door?

Enough excitement for one morning so I’ll bring you up to date on the gardening:

The east garden is looking good! The potato plants in particular are huge - hope they’re growing as well underneath. The green beans are suffering as some bug is eating the leaves. I don’t think it’s the guinea this time. John’s onions look great and are bulbing out nicely. Tomato plants are lush and strong. Oh, but the glory of the garden is the English peas! We should be able to pick the first meal from them this next week. In a bed in the yard the cucumbers and asparagus beans sprouted. I actually have hopes of having some good garden produce this year. Praying to can green beans and tomatoes, enough for 2 years if possible.  In the west gardens, there’s one head of broccolli waiting to be picked. I thinking of cheese broccolli soup……..yummmmmm!

The rain put an end to our outside work early and more storms are due in any minute now with good chances of flash flooding again. Once this all passes I have to finish the planting - way, way late this year but I do love zucchini and want to put it in several different areas, hoping one or two plantings will escape the nasty squash bugs.

But since the storms are coming in, no outside work in the rain, we’re settling down with some homemade goats milk ice cream and a couple of good books. May your days be so blessed! May your lives be snakeless!

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